Corpse Bride HiJack AU
by Muggle-born Pureblood
Summary: Hiccup is forced into an arranged marriage, only to find Jack has a way out. What do you do when your in the 'Land of the Dead,' accidently married to the love of your life, and the only thing keeping this wonderful, care free happiness from you is the fact that your still ALIVE! Not the same ending as Corpse Bride! HiJack, and Merapunzel! Rated because I'm paranoid!
1. M-M-Married

**_AN: This is sort of a HiJack story set in the Corpse Bride's world. The 'Land of the Dead' is where all spirits and corpses live, including Jack and the other guardians. Also, I'm taking an idea from Eragon. If a dragon becomes a humans familiar, (which Toothless is Hiccups) and the dragon dies, the human lives. But if the human dies, so dose the dragon. You will need to know this later, and you will thank me for this AN._**

##

Hiccup Haddock was, on no uncertain terms, a disappointment. He was scrawny, weak, and clumsy; all in all, very un-Viking like. He had a grand total of two friends, and even that was forbidden. Hiccup was friends with a dragon, the Viking's sworn enemy! His only other friend was kind of...well... dead!

##

Hiccup stormed into the cove mumbling obstinacies under his breath. Toothless could smell his riders rage and fear from a mile away. The Night Fury nuzzled Hiccup, and he visibly calmed at the touch. Hiccup sat on a near by rock, still scratching Toothless behind his ears.

"Oh, what am I going to do?"

"What are you going to do about what?"

Hiccup looked up and smiled at a very familiar winter spirit. Jack Frost was the closest to a human friend Hiccup had ever had... Well, I mean he used to be human before he died, which is more than can be said about Toothless.

"Jack!" Hiccup exclaimed.

"In the flesh... sort of..."

Hiccup shook his head at the overused, comical greeting. His face fell again as he remembered why he was so upset in the first place.

"What's wrong?" Jack questioned.

Hiccup was never one to open up instantly, he preferred to hide his emotions behind a mask of indifference.

"Nothing," he muttered.

Jack knew how bad it was to keep your emotions bottled up. His fellow winter spirit Elsa had tried to do that once, and failed miserably... In the aftermath of that melt down there was a frozen continent at the bottom of the Earth!

Luckily, Jack could read Hiccup like an open book!

"... It's about your father again, isn't it?"

Hiccup nodded. Jack wrapped his arms around Hiccup, as his mask of indifference slipped. That mask only slipped around Jack and Toothless. Hiccup began to cry on Jacks shoulder, wile Toothless wrapped around the pair protectively.

"H-He's making me git..." Hiccup sobbed.

"What?"

"M-M-M-M-Married!"

The horror was evident on both boys faces, as Jack asked in a whisper, "To who?"

"Astrid Hofferson."

Hiccup shook violently at the mention of his bride to be.

"J-Jack, I-I don't want to marry Astrid! She hates me, and I don't love her! I don't want to live the rest of my life with someone who's just going to torment me the whole time!"

"Shhh," Jack rubbed soothing circles on Hiccups back, but in truth he was heart broken! The two had confessed there love for each other a wile back, so the marriage was a big slap in the face to both of them.

After a wile Hiccup had to leave for the wedding rehearsal, and Jack went to visit a friend down under... and maybe try to drown his sorrows at the tavern where she worked.

##

Jack sat his mug down on the bar in front of the red headed bartender.

"I just don't know what to do Merida... I love him so much!" Jack said, half drunk, but still sober enough to remember the conversation later.

"Well..." The bartender, Merida, said. "Me mother always said, 'If ya love somethin', set it free!'"

"But if I let him marry that girl, he'll be miserable for the rest of his life!" Jack sobbed.

"Did what I said just go in one ear an' out the other?!"

Jack looked up to see Merida cleaning a mug with a towel. "What do you mean?" he asked confused.

"Were ya dropped on yer head as an infant, or were ya just born stupid?"

Jack looked annoyed at the statement, but wasn't sober enough to make a comeback.

"Now did I say let 'em git married? No! I said set 'em free!"

Jack snapped into sobriety at the implication.

"So you mean take him here? To the 'Land of the Dead?'"

Merida smiled and nodded her head.

"But he's alive! I would either need to kill him, or git him to marry me! I would never hurt Hiccup! And he'll never marry me... But... maybe... I got to go! Thanks for the hope on the rocks Red!"

Jack stood up and ran out of the tavern. He had to find his Hiccup!


	2. With this candle, I will set you on fire

"Let's try it again!" Mildew growled threw gritted teeth. "With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way in darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine. Try again!"

"Y-Yes sir," Hiccup stammered.

"With this candle, I will... Ouch!" Hiccup, struggling to light his candle, had burned himself, but successfully lit his candle none the less.

"Do you not wish to be married, mister Haddock!?" The old man spat out his name like it was poison, "Have you even remembered to bring the ring!?"

Astrid snarled, "Yeah Hiccup! You better show us the ring! Only you would forget the most important part of a wedding! You've all ready forgot your vows!"

Hiccup was getting tired of this. They had ben there for three hours, and he had yet to correctly say his vows. "As a matter of fact I don't wish to be married! I have no chose in the matter. And I have the ring right here." Hiccup fished a small ring out of his pocket, but held it too tightly, and dropped it.

"Dropping the ring! This boy dose not want to be married!"

Hiccup chased the ring under his bride-to-be's long skirt that brushed the floor. He grabbed the ring and stood up, only to find the candle he had just lit had caught Astrid's skirt on fire! Hiccup grabbed the goblet of water they were using instead of wine, and dumped the water on Astrid's skirt.

"What is the matter with you?! You make a mess everywhere you go! Nobody wants you around! You're completely useless!" Astrid's words cut like knives. Hiccup felt a stinging behind his eyes, as his mask slipped and the tears began to fall.

"I know," He choked out.

With that Hiccup ran out of the great hall, past the people standing out side. He ran into his Father long enough for him to see the boy was crying. Crying in every Viking's eyes was a sign of weakness, and Stoic was no exception. But Stoic still wondered, what had driven his boy to tears?

##

Toothless could smell his rider coming, and he could smell the tears on his face. When Hiccup got to the cove, the Night Fury curled around Hiccup protectively, and let him cry. After 30 minutes, Hiccup was all cried out and the mask was back on. Hiccup bid his friend goodbye, and headed towards the village.

"I don't know why I can't get it right. With this cup... No that's not right... With this hand I will cup your... Oh god no! With this candle... I will... I will... I will set you on fire!"

"I'd like to know the story behind that one!"

Hiccup turned around, to see Jack standing there.

"Jack!" Hiccup ran into Jack's embrace.

"So," he said, "what happened?"

The two kept walking closer to the village, wile Hiccup explained everything to him. Jack listened silently, if you don't count laughing about Hiccup setting Astrid on fire. Soon they were at the edge of the woods.

"You could practise your vows on me. You might remember them if you say them to some one you really love." Jack offered.

"Okay, I'll try it," Hiccup said, unaware of the number of people trying to get his attention.

"With this hand, I will lift your sorrows."

The people were trying to git to him, but were frozen to the ground. They had stopped shouting in order to hear what was going on.

"Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine."

Jack smiled; his plan was working perfectly.

"With this candle, I will light your way in darkness."

Hiccup pulled out the ring, knowing in his heart that this was more than just practise.

"With this ring, I ask you to be mine."

Without a moments hesitation, Hiccup slid the ring on Jacks finger. Jack looked at Hiccup, and leaned in close. He whispered, "I do." Jack leaned over and kissed Hiccup, and Hiccup kissed back. Suddenly Hiccup began to get sleepy, and smiled into the kiss as blackness over took him.

##

_**AN: Hope you liked it! Oh and dose anyone agree that Mildew is perfect for the part of Pastor Goswell? I mean, they're both old grouches, who carry a staff. And Mildew should know the ceremony by heart, with the number of times he's ben married!**_


	3. I kind of tricked you into marriage

"A new arrival!"

Hiccup opened his eyes to find himself surrounded.

"Looks like we got ourselves a breather, lads!" Said a girl with wild curly red hair, behind a bar.

"Oh!" a dark headed girl dressed in a short black dress, came over and exclaimed, "Dose he have a dead brother?!"

That's when Jack decided to come to hiccups rescue, "Back off Mavis! Hiccup's mine! And, no he doesn't have a dead brother!"

"Well," said a girl with freakishly long golden hair, pulled back in a thick braid, "A toast!"

The blond held up her glass, and the red head picked up where she left off, "Aye! To the newly weds!"

Hiccup had stood up by then. "Newly weds?" he inquired. "Jack what are they talking about?"

Jack gave Hiccup the look he only got when he was caught doing something he shouldn't have done. That pitiful sad puppy look, that just screamed, 'Please forgive me! I won't do it again!' He looked at the ground, his shoulders drooped slightly, and clutched his staff to his chest.

"Jack!?"

"Well..."

"Jackson, what did you do?"

"Well... I kind of... tricked you... into... marriage..."

"You what!?"

"Well... In the woods, you said your vows perfectly. And I said, 'I do,' and you put the ring on my finger..."

"JACKSON OVERLAND FROST! YOU TRAPED ME INTO MARRIAGE?!"

Jack sunk back, visibly shaking from the sudden outburst.

"I'm sorry... I thought you would be happy..."

"You idiot! I am happy!"

Hiccup through his arms around Jack, and kissed him. "I couldn't be happier if I tried!"

* * *

Hiccup soon learned that he was in the 'land of the dead,' and met some of Jacks friends. The red headed bartender, Merida, was a princess who was eaten by a bear. She was engaged to the blond, Rapunzel, and became a bartender because it always appealed to her in life. Rapunzel was raised in a tower, by her mother who used Rapunzel's magic hair to keep her young forever. She died after a physical fight with her mother ended with her falling out of the window of the tower. She's on the welcoming committee, and helps make the transition from life to death easer. The dark haired one, Mavis, fell ill and died. The disease could have ben cured, but her husband wouldn't let her have the cure because he wanted her dead. She's a seamstress now, because she loves to sew.

* * *

_**Hey guys! Sorry about the wait, I had to watch my cousins all last weak! Talk about torture! Hey can you guess which 'Corpse Bride' character Mavis is replacing? **_

_**P.S. I have now stooped to black mail... Reviews make chapters come faster! The more reviews, the faster I update! ^_^**_


	4. A ghost story

"Stoic!"

Gobber shouted his chef's name the whole way back to the great hall. Viking though he was, he came bursting into the hall visibly shaking.

"Gobber!" Stoic said, "Calm down! You look like you've seen a ghost! And where is Hiccup?"

"I have seen a ghost! With Hiccup!" Gobber shouted, as though he questioned his own sanity.

"What?" Stoic's voice was low, and calm.

"We were walking toward the forest," Gobber began. "Were nearly there, when we saw Hiccup talking to a strange boy with white hair! We tried to go up to the pair, but our feet were frozen to the ground! We tried shouting at Hiccup, but we might as well have ben whispering for all the good it did us! Then we all shut up so we could hear what they were saying. Hiccup was saying his wedding vows Stoic! To that boy! We saw him put the ring on his finger! And then they kissed! And they kissed with experience! You could tell they'd done it before! And then we were surrounded by a cold fog, and when it cleared, the white headed boy was standing alone! He said, 'You had him now you've lost him! Go and tell Stoic that Hiccup will be dealt no more injustice! He's my Hiccup now!' Then my feet thawed and I looked to the others, and there feet were still frozen! I turned toward the boy, and he was about an inch from my face! And I could see right through him, Stoic! And he said, 'It only takes one to deliver a message!' And then I ran back here as fast as I could!"

"Do you think Hiccup was under a spell of some sorts?"

"I think, actually, he did it out of free will. I've never seen him smile at anyone the way he smiled at that boy."

##

_**OMG! I'm soooo sorry this is so late! My internet has ben down, and we just started school, and you know how that is! So since Blackmail is obviously not getting me anywhere, I'm now stooping to bribery. Give me reviews, and I'll give you internet cookies! But I have a limited supply. **__**I got 99 cookies, because a bitch ate one!**_


	5. A brillant idea

_**OMG! I have no excuse for my slacking! I am utterly ashamed of myself! Oh and to who reviewed... (::) here is your internet cookie! ^_^ **_

_**Jack: Get on with it!**_

_**Hiccup: Patience Jack! She'll get to the story when she gets to it.**_

_**Me: Thank you, Hiccup! Now, without further a...**_

_**Hiccup: *snores*...Keep the change... *snores* ...yes I'm a natural blue... *snores***_

_**Jack: HA-HA! Oh I wish I had a camera right now!**_

_**Me: STORY TIME!**_

_**Hiccup: *wakes up* Huh? What did I miss?**_

##

Hiccup was enjoying the land of the dead much more than he thought he would. Everyone was so free, and it was all so perfectly imperfect! But Hiccup couldn't help but wonder what was going on back home...

##

"Ya wanna go where?"

"The Land of the Living, Merida." Hiccup rolled his eyes at the ginger. "I was wondering how I should bring it up to Jack."

"Well," Rapunzel interjected, "you could tell him it's for you're honeymoon. Merida and I plan on going up stairs for ours... that is if she ever decides to marry me!"

"Don't start, Punzie, you know our deal!"

"What deal?" Hiccup asked.

Rapunzel sighed, "We made a deal, that we would get married after one of us catches the bouquet at a wedding... This deal was made five years ago, and we have yet to catch a bouquet."

"That not my fault!"

"Oh, really! You don't even try to catch them!"

"I try!"

"It's kind of hard to catch a bouquet, WHEN YOU"RE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FREAKING CHURCH!"

Hiccup slowly put his drink down, and left the, now screaming, girlfriends to bicker without him eaves dropping. Besides, they had given him a brilliant idea!

##

_**It's short, I know. My plot bunny went on vacation and I need more soup to lour him back.**_


End file.
